Read time: 4 minutes • A quiet moment for you

Hi Reader,

Welcome to my weekly newsletter, designed to help you Rise on Purpose.

Last week, I wrote about not taking it personally. If you missed it, you can read that, and all previous articles, here.

And because a few good words can change the direction of your whole day, I wrote a FREE PDF guide: 7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Day. If you'd like to receive it, hit reply and I'll send it straight to your inbox.

Back Yourself

Last week, I was having coffee with a friend who is about to branch out as a freelancer.

She was buzzing with all the ideas she had, but after every excited idea came a wave of anxiety. She started listing all the reasons she might not be ready for it. What if she didn't have enough credentials? What if freelancing is just too saturated now?

I listened and then found myself doing what we so naturally do for the people we care about.

I reminded her of everything she'd already achieved as a brilliant journalist and all the valuable work (and life) experience she'd built over the past ten years.

From across the table, it was obvious that she was more capable than she was giving herself credit for. She didn't need me to give her confidence; she already had plenty of reasons to feel confident. She just couldn't see them as clearly from where she was sitting.

And as we said our goodbyes, I kept thinking about how differently we speak to ourselves.

We're often much better at backing other people than we are at backing ourselves.

Maybe that's because it's easier to see someone else's situation clearly when we're not the one experiencing the fear and uncertainty. We can see the bigger picture: their experience and strengths. Their gifts to share with the world. All the things that should give them confidence when their own has temporarily disappeared.

Which made me wonder: what if we learned to switch seats?

This week’s tool: Switch Seats

The next time you catch yourself doubting your ability or feeling your confidence wobble, try looking at the situation from the other side of the table.

→ Take yourself out of the story

Think of someone you trust and respect. Now imagine they came to you with exactly the situation you're facing.

What would you see in them that you're struggling to see in yourself?

→ Listen to what you'd say

You probably wouldn't promise them everything would work out. But you might remind them what they're uniquely good at, what they've already handled and how much they've learned along the way.

You'd probably see their ability more clearly than they can right now.

→ Switch seats

Now bring that perspective back to you.

What are you overlooking about yourself? What do you need to stop worrying about? What would you encourage yourself to do next?

Why this works

A little distance changes our perspective.

When we're inside our own problem, we focus on everything that could go wrong and overlook all the strengths and experience that would help us handle whatever happens.

And that's when confidence can disappear remarkably quickly.

Switching seats helps you separate how confident you feel from how capable you are. It gives you a way to say, I might get this wrong and I might not know exactly how this will turn out. But I trust myself enough to work it out.

That's the essence of confidence: Not knowing you'll get it right, but trusting yourself even if you don't.

So this week, if you find yourself sitting across from a friend or colleague over coffee, listening as they doubt themselves, notice what you do.

Notice how quickly you see their strengths and how naturally you remind them they're more capable than they think.

Then, when the coffees are finished and you head back to your day, take some of that belief with you.

The next time the doubt is yours, switch seats.

And back yourself.

Keep rising,
Lauren

P.S. ​What's something you've said to encourage someone else recently that you could do with hearing yourself?