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Hi Reader,

Welcome to my weekly newsletter, designed to help you Rise on Purpose.

Last week, I wrote about The Summer of No. If you missed it, you can read that, and all previous articles, here.

And because a few good words can change the direction of your whole day, I wrote a FREE PDF guide: 7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Day. If you'd like to receive it, hit reply and I'll send it straight to your inbox.

Get Better, Not Bitter

Last week I shared the string of no's I've received from literary agents this summer after submitting my first book proposal.

One of them stood out: it was from an agent who offered a call.

She started with words of praise, but I quickly asked her to be as direct and critical as she could be.

As she has spent years at one of the Big Five publishing houses, what I wanted to hear was the nitty gritty of what I need to fix, not a softer version of the rejection.

I was really energised after the call and had a much clearer sense of how to move the manuscript forward. This wouldn't have happened if I'd just let her tell me the good parts. In specifically asking for her criticism, she was able to be honest with me.

Her opinion carried weight because of where those years were spent, at the highest level in publishing, with a track record of knowing what sells and what doesn't.

Ray Dalio writes about believability-weighted decision making in Principles. It's one of the sections of his book I come back to most (page 371).

The idea is simple: not all opinions carry equal weight. The people who've done the thing, who've been right before, who have skin in the game, their feedback deserves more of your attention.

This week’s tool: The Believability Filter

→ Ask before you react​
Before letting criticism land, pause and ask: "Has this person earned the right to have an opinion here?" This one question does most of the work.

→ Weigh the track record​
Have they done the thing you're trying to do? Have they been right before? Do they have skin in the game, something to lose if their advice is wrong?

→ Notice the sting isn't the signal​
Feedback that stings and feedback that's wrong often feel identical in the moment. The believability filter separates them. Painful and wrong are two different things, and only one of them deserves your attention.

→ Act on what's earned your attention​
If they've earned it, listen closely, even when it's uncomfortable, and take what's useful. If they haven't, let it pass without spending energy defending yourself against it. Either way: get better, not bitter.

Why this works

Most advice about handling criticism treats all feedback as equally valid, as if the volume of an opinion matters more than its source. But not everyone's view carries the same weight, and treating it as if it does hands your confidence to people who haven't earned a say in it.

When you're building something new or challenging, it can be tempting to think others know better. Protect your energy, and let the filter decide what deserves it.

That agent's call is a good example. It stung precisely because it was believable, and that's exactly why it was worth listening to.

I hope this helps you meet criticism with a bit more clarity.

Keep rising,
Lauren

P.S. Whose feedback carries the most weight with you, and how did they earn it?

New Course: Building Your Next Chapter

I've just released 8 Ways to Build Your Next Chapter Without Burning Out.

I'm really excited to share this with you. It's a 40-page guide to help you move forward, without needing the whole next chapter mapped out first.

Inside: an eight-stage guide, a fillable planner, and three cheat sheets for the hard conversations that come with rebuilding.

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