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Hi Reader,

Welcome to my weekly newsletter, designed to help you Rise on Purpose.

Last week, I wrote about ABM, Always Be Moving. If you missed it, you can read that, and all previous articles, here.

And because a few good words can change the direction of your whole day, I wrote a FREE PDF guide: 7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Day. If you'd like to receive it, hit reply and I'll send it straight to your inbox.

Hello, Frustration

For years, a vicious pattern would rear its head, particularly in the early days of building my business.

When something would stop working (looking at you, Shopify), or part of a launch plan would fall through (a rebrand is not for the faint of heart) or someone would let me down (the early days of hiring were really hard), I'd feel so disheartened and frustrated.

Then, because I couldn't see a way through right away, I'd get frustrated about being frustrated. And that just made things worse, because the more stuck I felt, the more I spiralled, and the more I spiralled, the more stuck I felt.

I used to treat that spiral as a warning sign that things just weren't going to work out. Or I was doing it all wrong. It was not a fun place to be.

But with more time and experience, I now see it differently.

These days, when I notice I'm in it, I say it out loud: "this is the Frustration Cycle, hello and welcome!" My sister, Sarah, can vouch that I really do say this out loud, quite joyfully.

I've learned that the Frustration Cycle doesn't show up when nothing is happening. It shows up on the precipice of change, of a breakthrough you didn't know you needed.

So, when the Frustration Cycle kicks in, know this: You're not stuck because you've failed. You're stuck because something in your life is about to move, though the moving just hasn't started yet. The opportunity? To move through the cycle as quickly as you can, looking for your exit route.

This week’s tool: Name It, Find the Exit

→ Notice the loop
Frustration on its own isn't the cycle. The cycle is frustration about the frustration, the second part where you start telling yourself a story about how stuck you are. Catch it early.

→ Say it plainly
"I'm in the Frustration Cycle". Naming it takes some of its power away. It stops being a verdict on you and starts being a phase you're moving through.

→ Ask the exit question
"What is this cycle trying to force me to change?" Not what's wrong with you; but what's due for change. It takes the sting out of the frustration and gives you agency.

→ Let the answer be small
The change might be a decision you've been avoiding, a conversation, or simply loosening your grip on how you thought this would go.

Why this works

Reframing changes your relationship to the frustration. When you interpret a feeling as evidence of failure, your mind narrows and looks for more evidence to confirm it. When you interpret the same feeling as evidence that change is close, your mind starts looking for the opening (the exit) instead.

This is the same mechanism psychologists call cognitive reappraisal, choosing a different interpretation of an event rather than trying to suppress how it makes you feel. It's one of the more reliable tools for staying grounded under pressure.

Whatever's frustrating you this week, treat it as a sign, not a setback.

Keep rising,
Lauren

P.S. Where are you in the cycle right now? Just noticing it, right in the thick of it, or on the other side of it?

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